Kathleen, I'm an older man and many women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger men. Sex partner closest to Bundaberg, Queensland. But of course they are. It is just that all the younger men approaching older women are predominantly, looking for what they consider to be the quickest way to get easy sex. They only reveal interest in guys their own age when the supply of younger guys dries up, or the guys start to lose interest in them. It's insulting to me. And that's the reason why I am not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to assure me that I was a grab. And I still matter I should be - am tall, clean-cut, seem youthful for 48, run my own successful business, know the way to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic location (Alaska). As a result I am quite active so online dating looked like the answer. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the amount of women that have written back and no genuine dates. I decided women in my date range and attractiveness range. Simply to check I wrote to rather older women and not as attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped almost every woman. Tried all types of graphics. Nothing. When I speak to my female friends they say they are inundated. The only dates I've had, 2, were from old pals who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and scarcely return my calls. At Meetups women appear interested however they do not respond. Simply don't realize this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I am reluctant to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring permanently alienated good friends. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years ago.
I feel like I am aging out" of internet dating. I have discovered after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the response I get on has dropped to virtually nothing. It's as though moving from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some kind of death knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with guys in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those guys desire, (usually 35-50) I often go past them, understanding I can't compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years older than me! In other words, knowingly sends me matches that are probably not realistic for me to pursue. When I've e-mailed some of those men, I don't hear back. I'm guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I am within their desirable range, I still do not get much of a reply. I assume the reason behind this is they can get younger women to react to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year old model of me? If their first wife was their age, like a college love or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer version, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. Sex Partner nearest Bundaberg, QLD. It's frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It's the built in folly of on-line sites: you're merely defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
One more thing. I would like to ask all my middle-aged internet dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Sex partner near me Bundaberg. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sexy, play-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these too: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and any and all derivatives of "my pals/mother/ex/kids tell me that..I am a glass-half-total optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I think that if we can all agree to clean up our profiles then perhaps, just perhaps, we can find some common ground and get back to the work of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
Quit Using Your Profile to Whine about Men. Several guys noticed how many women's online dating profiles are contained mostly of criticisms about guys - either their profiles, or their conduct in general. I agree with the men on this one. There is absolutely no point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes use a website for that). So while I am certain there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and behaving badly, I really believe that women must take responsibility for their own picks. We can keep our favorable expectations while at the exact same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something is not quite appropriate. Far too often some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking as well as a want to be fine and not seem impolite, so we discount the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a woman who expressed great depression that she just couldn't trust the guys she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about one of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless abundance and his connections to powerful people all over the world. She slept with him on the second date (after he assured to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that's not all. Sex partner near Queensland Australia. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his folks." And guess what? Yep! Sex Partner near Bundaberg Queensland. Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could just no longer trust men she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could only no longer trust Nigerian princes.
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you want an excellent man who honors you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, then you post pictures of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in someone else's bed). And if you aren't posting pictures of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you're posting photos with far too much cleavage. Now, that's absolutely wonderful - I have no problem at all with this, and I am certain many men do not have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women place said super-sexy glamour photos and then whine to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and just want them for sex. And while we're on the topic of criticism-filled profiles...
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you probably adore them), but I do believe it's significant that we at least strive for truthfulness. The word on the street is that far too many women out there in the online dating world are utilizing the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to guys as well, of course). Sex Partner in Bundaberg QLD. The matter is, there actually is not anything wrong with having an about typical (or curvy) body so let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and understand once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (correct, good guys?).
No. More. Instagram. Photos. I really like Instagram photographs because several of the filters make my eyes look strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about 10 years off my face. But do I post these photos on my internet dating profile? No I do not. Why? Because my eyes aren't really that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram photos would have you believe. This was the number one criticism among the men I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) photographs. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in advertising.
Waaaay too Many Pet Pictures. Sex Partner Near Me Stafford Queensland. This was a tremendous gripe among the guys I interviewed. They're looking at your profile to find out more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photos, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we're on the subject of pet photos, I got a personal request of all you single, middle aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all pictures of your cats. This is so significant. I can't emphasize it enough. Single, middle-aged women already have to deal with much too many negative stereotypes, and also the cat pictures (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your bed) merely serve to bolster them. I once composed a blog post about how dating sometimes made me feel unwanted , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America advising me that I must live in a dark flat with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I Had concentrate on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am far more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this post. The following list is my best effort at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations predicated on a bit of research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you are a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
I can not say it any clearer than this: Don't post any selfies of yourself looking into your own bathroom mirror, period. Seeing a man standing next to an open bathroom, or just a toilet paper dispenser, is an immediate turn off. Take a selfie the way everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as though you are doing something enjoyable (like fishing or watching football). Or, should you not have a selfie stick, shoot your profile photo the old fashioned way by tapping the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your automobile. Worst comes to worst, have a buddy take an action photo of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. In the event that you don't have a single friend who can shoot your picture, or you do not own a smartphone, then you probably should not be dating in the first place.
I am not the single one detecting these trends. Frequently, when I get together with my single girlfriends the matter of some men's online dating profiles is raised with a collective "what in the world were they thinking??" From time to time I Have looked past these profile peculiarities and gone out with some of these men since I felt they were extremely nice guys. And let's simply say that I wasn't surprised when they shared their frustrations with online dating - of seldom receiving emails from women, of their e-mails frequently going unanswered. Sex Partner Near Me Collaroy Queensland. I liked to catch these guys by their shoulders, and give them a solid (albeit friendly) handshake, while sharing my suspicions about their errant advertising techniques. But I've always resisted the temptation to do so out of a fear of appearing rude and ill mannered.
A few of these profiles represent random oddities, the one-in-a hundred profile with an eyebrow-raising story or a few gasp-worthy photographs. These profiles can be a great source of amusement, especially if wine is involved. But what I find somewhat distressing are some fairly distressing tendencies I've noted in many men's profiles who seem to be quite regular otherwise. Bundaberg sex partner. I do empathize, really. A lot of us are dating rookies, jumping back into the dating pool after years (sometimes decades) of marriage and child-rearing. We're all winging it to a certain extent, uncertain of what the other sex is looking for, or how exactly to get their focus. But these gaffes are so obvious that I believe it is time someone starts a dialogue and asks the important question: Why? No really, why?
I've been a member of a popular online dating service for a little more than a year now, and I need to say that, overall, I'm happily surprised by the characteristic of guys I Have met online. While I haven't yet met "the one," I remain hopeful that eventually, I 'll. Yet despite my generally positive experiences, I've run into a few (hundred) profiles that completely baffle me in a these-men-clearly-were-not-raised-with-sisters-and-can't-possibly-have-any-female-friends sort of way. Like the man who believed that choosing the username "Undertaker" was wise, or the guy who shot his photos in a room that certainly cried "secured residential facility." Or, the childless man who expressed his profound desire to meet a woman with young kids (preferably boys). Sex Partner near Bundaberg. One of my all-time favorites though was the man who spent half his profile story writing about how he was still intensely in love with his ex wife, but since she wouldn't take him back, he was forced to find love on-line (yay us!).