Kathleen, I'm an elderly guy and many women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger guys. Local single women in Castle Hill New South Wales. But of course they are. It is merely that all the younger guys approaching senior women are predominantly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest method to get easy sex. They just reveal interest in guys their particular age when the supply of younger guys dries up, or the men start to lose interest in them. It's insulting to me. And that is the reason why I am not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
I get what you are saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to assure me that I was a catch. And I still matter I should be - am tall, trim, look young for 48, run my own successful company, understand just how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic location (Alaska). As a result I'm quite active so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women who've written back and no actual dates. I picked women in my own date range and attractiveness range. Simply to check I wrote to fairly elderly women and less attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped nearly every girl. Tried all kinds of images. Nothing. When I speak to my female friends they say they are inundated. The sole dates I have had, 2, were from old friends who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and infrequently return my calls. At Meetups women seem interested but they do not answer. Just do not comprehend this, it is as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm reluctant to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring permanently alienated good friends. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
I feel like I 'm aging out" of online dating. I've found after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the response I get on has dropped to almost nothing. It is as though going from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some form of death-knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those men desire, (usually 35-50) I frequently go past them, understanding I can't compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years older than me! To put it differently, intentionally sends me matches which are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I have e-mailed some of those men, I never hear back. I'm guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and probably read no further. Even if I'm within their desired range, I still do not get much of a reply. I suppose the reason behind this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year-old version of me? If their first wife was their age, like a school love or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. Local single women near me Castle Hill NSW. It is frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the builtin folly of online websites: you are just defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
One more thing. I would like to ask all my middle-aged online dating male and female compatriots a favor. Local single women nearest Castle Hill. Please, let us rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensual, play-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these too: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and any and all derivatives of "my pals/mom/ex-husband/kids tell me that..I'm a glass-half-complete optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all agree to clean up our profiles then perhaps, just perhaps, we can find some common ground and get back to the company of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
Cease Using Your Profile to Whine about Men. Several men noted how many women's online dating profiles are comprised primarily of complaints about guys - either their profiles, or their conduct in general. I agree with the guys on this one. There's no point in using your profile story as a soapbox for your negative perception of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes use a blog for that). So while I am certain there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and behaving badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own choices. We can maintain our positive expectations while at the exact same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something is not quite correct. Much too frequently some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and a want to be pleasant and not seem rude, so we discount the large, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and continue without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great dismay that she simply couldn't trust the men she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about one of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via e-mail. He told her stories of his limitless wealth and his links to powerful individuals all over the world. She slept with him on the 2nd date (after he assured to whisk her away to a private island that next weekend). But that's not all. Local Single Women in New South Wales, Australia. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Local Single Women nearby Castle Hill New South Wales. Her identity was stolen. Whining about how she could merely no longer trust men she met online was a bit like whining about how she could only no longer trust Nigerian princes.
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you want a good man who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, then you post pictures of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in somebody else's bed). And if you're not posting photos of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting photos with way too much cleavage. Now, that's absolutely wonderful - I have no issue at all with this, and I'm certain many guys do not have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women place said super-hot glamor photos and then whine to their friends, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and just need them for sex. And while we're on the topic of complaint-filled profiles...
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you most likely adore them), but I do think it's significant that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is the fact that way too many women out there in the online dating world are utilizing the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this complaint applies to guys also, of course). Local Single Women near Castle Hill NSW. The thing is, there actually isn't anything wrong with having an around typical (or curvy) body thus let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and understand once and for all that a little meat on our bones isn't going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (appropriate, good guys?).
No. More. Instagram. Photographs. I love Instagram photographs because many of the filters make my eyes look strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these photos on my internet dating profile? No I do not. Why? Because my eyes aren't really that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram photographs would have you believe. This was the number one criticism among the men I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) photos. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in marketing.
Manner too Many Pet Photographs. Local Single Women Near Me Surry Hills New South Wales. This was a huge gripe among the guys I interviewed. They are looking at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photos, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we're on the topic of pet photos, I have a personal request of all you single, middle aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photographs of your cats. This really is really important. I can not stress it enough. Single, middle aged women already must deal with far too many negative stereotypes, and also the cat photographs (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your own bed) only function to strengthen them. I once composed a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel undesirable , and I got hundreds of opinions from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America informing me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I'd focus on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am far more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this post. This list is my best attempt at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with some of my own observations predicated on a little research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you are a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
I can't say it any clearer than this: Don't post any selfies of yourself looking into your own bathroom mirror, period. Seeing a man standing next to an open bathroom, or just a toilet paper dispenser, is an immediate turn off. Take a selfie the way everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as though you are doing something interesting (like fishing or watching football). Or, in case you don't have a selfie stick, shoot your profile photograph the old fashioned way by tapping the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your automobile. Worst comes to worst, have a buddy take an action photo of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. In case you don't have a single friend who can shoot your photograph, or you do not possess a smartphone, then you likely should not be dating in the first place.
I'm not the single one finding these trends. Frequently, when I get together with my single girlfriends the theme of some men's online dating profiles is raised with a collective "what in the world were they thinking??" From time to time I Have looked past these profile peculiarities and gone out with some of these men because I felt they were really nice guys. And let us just say that I was not surprised when they discussed their frustrations with online dating - of infrequently receiving emails from women, of their emails regularly going unanswered. Local Single Women Near Me Croydon Park New South Wales. I liked to grab these men by their shoulders, and provide them a robust (albeit friendly) shake, while sharing my suspicions about their errant advertising techniques. But I've always resisted the temptation to do so out of a anxiety about appearing rude and ill-mannered.
Many of these profiles represent arbitrary oddities, the one-in-a hundred profile with an eyebrow-raising story or a couple gasp-worthy photos. These profiles can actually be a great source of entertainment, especially if wine is included. However, what I find somewhat troubling are some fairly distressing trends I Have noticed in many men's profiles who appear to be fairly normal otherwise. Castle Hill local single women. I do empathize, really. Many of us are dating beginners, jumping back in the dating pool after years (sometimes decades) of marriage and child-rearing. We're all winging it to a certain degree, unsure of what the other sex is looking for, or how exactly to get their attention. However, these gaffes are so apparent that I think it's time someone starts a dialogue and asks the important question: Why? No really, why?
I have been a member of a well-known internet dating service for a little more than a year now, and I need to say that, overall, I am pleasantly surprised by the quality of guys I Have met online. While I haven't yet met "the one," I remain hopeful that eventually, I will. Yet despite my generally positive experiences, I've run into a few (hundred) profiles that totally baffle me in a these-men-clearly-were-not-raised-with-sisters-and-can't-possibly-have-any-female-friends sort of manner. Like the man who believed that selecting the username "Undertaker" was wise, or the guy who shot his pictures in a room that certainly howled "secured residential facility." Or, the childless man who expressed his deep urge to meet a woman with young children (rather boys). Local Single Women nearby Castle Hill. One of my all time favorites though was the man who spent half his profile narrative writing about how he was still deeply in love with his ex-wife, but since she wouldn't take him back, he was compelled to find love on-line (yay us!).