Kathleen, I'm an elderly guy and most women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger men. Local cougars closest to Hamilton, Queensland. But of course they are. It is just that all the younger men approaching elderly women are predominantly, looking for what they consider to be the quickest way to get easy sex. They only reveal interest in men their particular age when the supply of younger guys dries up, or the men begin to lose interest in them. It's insulting to me. And that is why I'm not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
I get what you are saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to assure me that I was a grab. And I still matter I should be - am tall, clean-cut, seem youthful for 48, run my own successful firm, know just how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic place (Alaska). As a result I'm quite busy so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the amount of women who have written back and no genuine dates. I picked women in my local date range and attractiveness range. Merely to check I wrote to fairly mature women and not as attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped almost every girl. Attempted all kinds of pictures. Nothing. while I talk to my female friends they say they're inundated. The only dates I have had, 2, were from old pals who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and infrequently return my calls. At Meetups women appear interested but they do not respond. Just do not recognize this, it is as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm unwilling to do that because the two times I did that when my union was souring forever alienated good buddies. Really out to sea on all of this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years ago.
I feel like I 'm aging out" of internet dating. I have seen after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the answer I get on has dropped to almost nothing. It's as though going from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some kind of death-knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with guys in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those guys desire, (normally 35-50) I regularly move past them, knowing I can't compete with women in their desired range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years older than me! To put it differently, knowingly sends me matches that are probably not realistic for me to pursue. When I have e-mailed some of those guys, I don't hear back. I'm guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I am within their desirable range, I still do not get much of a reply. I assume the reason behind this is they can get younger women to react to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year old version of me? If their first wife was their age, like a school honey or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. Local Cougars closest to Hamilton, QLD. It is frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the built-in folly of on-line websites: you're merely defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all my middle-aged online dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Local Cougars nearest Hamilton. Please, let us rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensuous, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let's omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I loathe talking about myself, but..." and any and all derivatives of "my friends/mother/ex/kids tell me that..I am a glass-half-complete optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just maybe, we can locate some common ground and get back to the work of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
Stop Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several men noticed how many women's online dating profiles are contained chiefly of grievances about men - either their profiles, or their conduct in general. I agree with the men on this one. There isn't any point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes utilize a blog for that). So while I am sure there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and behaving badly, I really believe that women must take responsibility for their own picks. We can maintain our favorable expectations while at exactly the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something is not quite right. Far too frequently some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and a desire to be nice and not appear impolite, so we ignore the large, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and continue without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great sadness that she simply could not trust the men she met online. She then proceeded to tell me a story about any of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via e-mail. He told her stories of his limitless wealth and his links to powerful people all over the world. She slept with him on the second date (after he promised to whisk her away to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. Local cougars nearest Queensland, Australia. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be checked by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Local cougars nearby Hamilton, Queensland. Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could just no longer trust men she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could merely no longer trust Nigerian princes.
Tone Down the Boudoir Shots. You say you want a quality man who honors you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship on you, and then you post pictures of yourself next to your bed (or in your bed, or in your bed, or in someone else's bed). And if you're not posting photographs of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting photos with far too much cleavage. Now, that's absolutely fine - I don't have any difficulty at all with this, and I'm certain many men don't have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women place said super-sexy glamour photos and then complain to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and just want them for sex. And while we are on the subject of complaint-filled profiles...
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you almost certainly adore them), but I do think it's significant that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is the fact that way too many women out there in the internet dating world are using the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to guys as well, of course). Local Cougars nearby Hamilton, QLD. The thing is, there actually is not anything wrong with having an about typical (or curvy) body thus let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and comprehend once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (correct, good guys?).
No. More. Instagram. Photos. I love Instagram pictures because several of the filters make my eyes look strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about 10 years off my face. But do I post these pictures on my internet dating profile? No I don't. Why? Because my eyes are not actually that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram photographs would have you believe. This was the number one criticism among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) pictures. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in marketing.
Waaaay too Many Pet Pictures. Local Cougars Near Me Mitchelton Queensland. This was a tremendous criticism among the guys I interviewed. They are looking at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photographs, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we're on the subject of pet photos, I got a private request of all you single, middle aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all pictures of your cats. This is really important. I can't emphasize it enough. Single, middle-aged women already must cope with way too many negative stereotypes, and also the cat pictures (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats in your bed) merely function to bolster them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel undesirable , and I got hundreds of opinions from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America informing me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I Had concentrate on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm far more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this post. The following list is my best attempt at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations based on a little research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you're a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
I can not say it any clearer than this: Do not post any selfies of yourself looking into your bathroom mirror, period. Seeing a guy standing next to an open bathroom, or even a toilet paper dispenser, is an immediate turn off. Take a selfie the means everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as though you are doing something fun (like fishing or watching football). Or, should you not have a selfie stick, take your profile photo the old fashioned way by tapping the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your car. Worst comes to worst, have a buddy take an action shot of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. Should you not have a single friend who can take your photo, or you do not possess a smartphone, then you likely should not be dating in the first place.
I am not the sole one detecting these tendencies. Often, when I get together with my single girlfriends the theme of some men's online dating profiles is raised with a collective "what in the world were they thinking??" From time to time I Have looked past these profile peculiarities and gone out with a few of these men because I sensed they were genuinely nice guys. And let us just say that I was not surprised when they discussed their frustrations with online dating - of infrequently receiving emails from women, of their e-mails regularly going unanswered. Local Cougars Near Me Taigum Queensland. I liked to catch these men by their shoulders, and provide them a robust (albeit friendly) handshake, while sharing my suspicions about their errant advertising techniques. But I've always resisted the temptation to do so out of a anxiety about seeming rude and ill-mannered.
Many of these profiles represent arbitrary oddities, the one-in-a-hundred profile with an eyebrow-raising story or a few gasp-worthy pictures. These profiles can actually be a wonderful source of entertainment, particularly if wine is included. However, what I find somewhat distressing are some fairly disturbing tendencies I've noted in many men's profiles who appear to be fairly normal otherwise. Hamilton local cougars. I do empathize, actually. Many of us are dating novices, jumping back into the dating pool after years (sometimes decades) of marriage and child-rearing. We're all winging it to a particular degree, unsure of what the other sex is searching for, or the best way to get their attention. But these gaffes are really so clear that I think that it's time someone starts a dialogue and asks the important question: Why? No really, why?
I have been a member of a popular online dating service for a little more than a year now, and I have to say that, overall, I am happily surprised by the characteristic of men I've met online. While I haven't yet met "the one," I remain hopeful that eventually, I 'll. Yet despite my generally positive experiences, I have run into a few (hundred) profiles that completely baffle me in a these-men-clearly-were-not-raised-with-sisters-and-can't-possibly-have-any-female-friends sort of manner. Like the man who believed that choosing the username "Undertaker" was a good idea, or the guy who shot his pictures in a room that certainly shouted "fast residential facility." Or, the childless man who expressed his deep urge to meet a girl with young kids (rather lads). Local Cougars nearest Hamilton. One of my all time favorites though was the guy who spent half his profile narrative writing about how he was still intensely in love with his ex wife, but since she wouldn't take him back, he was compelled to find love online (yay us!).