Kathleen, I'm an old guy and many women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger men. Free fuck book in Lindfield New South Wales. But of course they are. It is only that all the younger guys approaching older women are mostly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest way to get easy sex. They only show interest in guys their particular age when the supply of younger guys dries up, or the men begin to lose interest in them. It's insulting to me. And that's why I am not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
I get what you are saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to reassure me that I was a catch. And I still matter I should be - am tall, trim, seem young for 48, run my own successful company, know how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic area (Alaska). As a result I am really active so online dating looked like the answer. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the amount of women that have written back and no actual dates. I picked women in my date range and attractiveness range. Simply to check I wrote to fairly elderly women and less attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped virtually every girl. Attempted all kinds of images. Nothing. while I talk to my female friends they say they're inundated. The only dates I've had, 2, were from old friends who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and scarcely return my calls. At Meetups women look interested however they do not respond. Just don't understand this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I am reluctant to do that because the two times I did that when my union was souring forever alienated good buddies. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years ago.
I feel like I am aging out" of internet dating. I've detected after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the response I get on has dropped to virtually nothing. It's as though moving from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some kind of death-knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The potential matches the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those men want, (typically 35-50) I often go past them, knowing I can't compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years old than me! To put it differently, knowingly sends me matches that are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I have e-mailed a number of these guys, I don't hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and probably read no further. Even if I am within their desirable range, I still don't get much of a reply. I presume the reason behind this is they can get younger women to react to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year old version of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a college sweetheart or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer version, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. Free fuck book nearby Lindfield, NSW. It's frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It's the built-in folly of on-line sites: you're simply defined by your age, in bold type right next to your user name.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all my middle-aged online dating male and female compatriots a favor. Free fuck book nearby Lindfield. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensual, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and any and all derivatives of "my pals/mom/ex-husband/kids tell me that..I'm a glass-half-total optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I think that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just perhaps, we can find some common ground and get back to the business of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
Stop Using Your Profile to Whine about Men. Several guys noted how many women's online dating profiles are contained chiefly of grievances about guys - either their profiles, or their behavior in general. I agree with the guys on this one. There's no point in using your profile story as a soapbox for your negative perception of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes use a blog for that). So while I'm sure there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I really believe that women must take responsibility for their own selections. We can maintain our positive expectations while at exactly the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something is not quite appropriate. Way too often some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking as well as a want to be pleasant and not seem ill-mannered, so we discount the large, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and continue without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great depression that she just could not trust the men she met online. She then proceeded to tell me a story about any of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless abundance and his links to powerful people all over the world. She slept with him on the 2nd date (after he promised to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. Free Fuck Book in New South Wales Australia. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Free Fuck Book near me Lindfield New South Wales. Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could simply no longer trust men she met online was a bit like whining about how she could only no longer trust Nigerian princes.
Tone Down the Boudoir Shots. You say you want a good man who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship on you, then you post pictures of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in someone else's bed). And if you aren't posting pictures of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you're posting pictures with far too much cleavage. Now, that is completely excellent - I have no trouble at all with this, and I am sure many men do not have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women post said super-sexy glamor photos and then complain to their friends, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and just need them for sex. And while we're on the topic of complaint-filled profiles...
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you almost certainly love them), but I do believe it's significant that we at least strive for truthfulness. The word on the street is the fact that far too many women out there in the online dating world are using the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this complaint applies to guys as well, of course). Free Fuck Book nearby Lindfield NSW. The thing is, there really is not anything wrong with having an around typical (or curvy) body so let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and comprehend once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (right, good guys?).
No. More. Instagram. Pictures. I love Instagram photos because lots of the filters make my eyes look strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these photographs on my internet dating profile? No I do not. Why? Because my eyes are not really that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram photographs would have you believe. This was the number one criticism among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) photographs. Truth in advertising women, truth in marketing.
Waaaay too Many Pet Photos. Free Fuck Book Near Me Epping New South Wales. This was a huge criticism among the guys I interviewed. They are looking at your profile to find out more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photographs, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the subject of pet pictures, I have a personal request of all you single, middle aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all pictures of your cats. This really is so significant. I can not emphasize it enough. Single, middle-aged women already need to cope with way too many negative stereotypes, as well as the cat photos (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats in your bed) merely serve to augment them. I once composed a blog post about how dating sometimes made me feel unwelcome , and I got hundreds of opinions from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America telling me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so really, please delete them.
Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I'd concentrate on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am much more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this particular post. This list is my best effort at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations predicated on a bit of research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you're a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
I can't say it any clearer than this: Do not post any selfies of yourself looking into your own bathroom mirror, period. Seeing a guy standing next to an open bathroom, or even a toilet paper dispenser, is an instant turn off. Take a selfie the way everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as though you're doing something fun (like fishing or watching football). Or, in the event you don't have a selfie stick, shoot your profile photo the old fashioned way by tapping the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your auto. Worst comes to worst, have a buddy take an action photo of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. In the event that you don't have a single friend who can shoot your photograph, or you don't possess a smartphone, then you probably shouldn't be dating in the first place.
I am not the only one noticing these tendencies. Frequently, when I get together with my single girlfriends the matter of some men's online dating profiles is raised with a collective "what in the world were they thinking??" From time to time I've looked past these profile peculiarities and gone out with some of these men since I sensed they were extremely nice guys. And let's simply say that I wasn't surprised when they discussed their frustrations with online dating - of seldom receiving e-mails from women, of their e-mails regularly going unanswered. Free Fuck Book Near Me Leichhardt New South Wales. I wanted to grab these guys by their shoulders, and provide them a robust (albeit friendly) shake, while sharing my feelings about their errant promotion techniques. But I've consistently resisted the temptation to do so out of a anxiety about appearing rude and ill-mannered.
Many of these profiles represent random oddities, the one-in-a-hundred profile with an eyebrow-raising narrative or a couple gasp-worthy photographs. These profiles can actually be a great source of entertainment, particularly when wine is included. However, what I find somewhat troubling are some rather distressing tendencies I've noted in many men's profiles who seem to be quite regular otherwise. Lindfield Free Fuck Book. I do empathize, really. A lot of us are dating novices, jumping back in the dating pool after years (sometimes decades) of marriage and child-rearing. We're all winging it to a particular degree, uncertain of what the other sex is looking for, or the way to get their focus. But these gaffes are really so clear that I think that it's time someone starts a dialogue and asks the important question: Why? No really, why?
I have been a member of a well-known online dating service for a little more than a year now, and I must say that, overall, I am pleasantly surprised by the quality of men I Have met online. While I haven't yet met "the one," I remain hopeful that eventually, I 'll. Yet despite my generally positive encounters, I have run into a few (hundred) profiles that completely baffle me in a these-men-certainly-were-not-raised-with-sisters-and-can't-possibly-have-any-female-friends sort of way. Like the man who thought that picking the username "Undertaker" was a good idea, or the guy who shot his pictures in a room that definitely shouted "secured residential facility." Or, the childless man who expressed his deep urge to meet a woman with young children (rather boys). Free fuck book near me Lindfield. One of my all-time favorites though was the guy who spent half his profile story writing about how he was still intensely in love with his ex-wife, but since she wouldn't take him back, he was forced to find love on-line (yay us!).